Deathly Fears [o]

[` Jeopardy !]

S H A D O W S T A R

The silence of the early morning day, seemed to be a bit too much at certain points. The slow blinking of his eyes as a powerfully built male adjusted to the idea of waking up so soon after falling asleep the night before. Shadowstar was the type of tom that many felines labeled as 'unusual.' He had a strict need to fall asleep before the last rays of the sun were drowned out by the darkness and in contrast, he would not allow himself to awake before the sun's rays started to flood over the camp in the morning. Although, in all reality, not many cats really understood why he was like this. Once you knew the truth though, it would make sense why he refused to - if he had a choice - to get out of the day before the stars of Silverpelt speckled across the night sky. Why he didn't want to see the lights of his ancestors and why, he even refused to speak about them if he could help it. All those questions, wonderments, they all had one simple answer.

Shaking his head, the male pushed himself to his paws and pushed his way out from the den, looking at the horizon to see a few of the first morning rays flooding into the camp. A long yawn erupted through the leader of MoorClan's body and he shook his pelt, trying to get the cold that had seeped in though the openings of his fur away. He sat down without so much as a glance around the camp and started to groom his light brown and white pelt till it was smoother and covered his body to keep the heat in more efficiently. When he was sure that every piece of fur was in place correctly, he shook his head and his bright blue eyes looked up at the sky near the sun and a smile appeared on his face as he looked at the brilliant colors. The oranges, red, and pinks together to create a beautiful sunrise. "And thus, a start to a beautiful day."

In the background he could hear the birds chirping in their morning songs and he imagined the little creatures moving among the swampy territories, looking for food before the hunters went on the prowl for their own meals for the day. His eye swept across the camp and he wondered how in the world cats could ever think that the sunrise and the coming night were more beautiful than the image of the morning and life renewed after a long silent night. Suddenly, a shudder went down his spine as he thought about the night and how dead it was. If StarClan was to be trusted, how come they showed themselves only at night when the stillness could be represented just as easily as the death of life? Why did they choose to be active at night when everything else sleeping and gone in the day when things actually happened? It was something to think about and he really started to wonder if cats with faith in StarClan - faith as strong as his father - ever thought about the odd coincidence that showed there. They want to be there for us when we need them the most, Shadowstar could image the words coming from his father's mouth like bane trying to kill him from the inside out. Death happens at night sure, but that's when he need them. The leader's claws dug into the ground and let out a slow breath, Then tell me father, what does your faithful 'savors' do when yo need them in the day when more battles happen than at night? What happens when you need them in the day? Shadowstar just shook his head and his gaze slowly traveled to his paws.

N O T E S:
Puppet: Shadowstar, Leader of MoorClan
Puppeteer: Jeopardy
Muse: Eh, alright. Not the best I've ever had, but decent enough.
Open: All cats welcomed, though seeing as it is the camp...probably only MoorClan felines.

[Cookie -n- Cream]

GOLDENHEART

"It's okay," he told himself. He held his head high as he walked through a patch of muddy earth. He scowled at the long pelt that had gotten him in so much trouble before. It was covered, almost completely, in mud. 'I just groomed a week ago!" he thought, slightly angered. Of course, most cats groomed more often than he, and if you cared about appearances in MoorClan, it was often quite a few times a day. To the old, gold man, however, it meant nothing.

"It's okay," he reminded himself once more. What wasn't okay was the fact that he was out of camp when he could have easily been reduced to old-age-dust in the middle of the moor. He was told to stay in camp, and he was clearly disobeying this rule. "I'll get there before anyone notices I was gone. Who's gonna notice was gone, anyway? No one, ain't no one gonna say a word." The massive cat slipped right into the foggy mud that he knew so well as the clan's hiding spot.

The heavy morning light allowed shadows to form on the ground and stray rays of light to touch the earth every few steps, but the majority of the time, he was covered in a heavy fog. He was beginning to hate the way the clan was so secretive about everything. It was fine and dandy, saying that MoorClan had this great fog-covered camp, but Goldenheart was getting old and his sense of hearing was going the quickest. He would have much preferred to see where he was walking when suddenly thud!

Goldenheart landed on his butt and skid back in the mud a bit trying to figure out what had just happened. His head throbbed and he bet that the tree he walked into wasn't feeling too well either. He blinked and grunted realizing any cat with hearing or a sense of smell could tell who he was and where he was. He mumbled beneath his breath while being tough about his re-entry into camp. "That's right," he said in hushed tones. "I can do what e'er I want whene'er I want ta'" He snorted and puffed out his already massive chest.

The clan had been in hustle and bustle since a tad bit before sunrise as was the usual case. Goldenheart had gotten up even earlier because he didn't sleep much as it was and he really couldn't wait to get out of camp. Besides, if he'd left earlier, someone could have seen him. With the fog rapidly becoming less dense, he could see a figure in the distance that looked familiar. In fact, it looked like him, with shorter fur. "What a handsome young feller'" he said to himself grinning at the back-handed compliment he'd just given his son. "Shadowstar, how ya been?"

[[ vi . ]]

☁ ^☁ _☁    Snowbird
x x x

Cool wind blew over the flat prairie, rippling the long, thin grass and barely skimming over Snowbird's short cream-colored fur. The sky was bluer than she'd ever seen in her life, fluffy white clouds dappling its otherwise clear azure body. Even looking past the horizon, there was nothing in sight but flatland grass and a single, ancient chestnut tree. Its branches spread far and wide, lush green leaves casting blinking shadows on the ground blanketed over its massive roots. There wasn't a single sound to be heard except for the undecipherable whispers of the wind in Songbird's ears, and the nearly silent rhythm of her own heavy breathing. The air was crisp and clean and she inhaled a deep mouthful of it; she could even taste its freshness. The tall, thin blades of grass felt soft beneath her pads, almost as soft as moss, and tickled her pelt everywhere, inviting her to roll around in it. She blinked her wide gray eyes, wondering how she had suddenly arrived at this wondrous scenery. Something in her gut told her to go to the chestnut tree, so she obeyed. In moments, she found herself standing at its base, gazing up at the knotted length of its rough bark.

"It's been around for as long as anybody can remember," a voice suddenly murmured, directly behind Snowbird. She whipped around in surprise to find herself eye to eye with an unfamiliar, handsome young tom. It took her a second, but she realized just how close his muzzle was to hers, and abruptly jumped back against the tree. He let out a low chuckle, his brilliant green eyes literally sparkling. "You always jump like that whenever I come around," he sighed, his eyes boring into hers. It made her feel incredibly uneasy, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't look away. They were mesmerizing. "Anyway, do you remember my name?" When Snowbird didn't reply, a flicker of sadness flashed across his face, but it was gone as soon as it had come. "It's okay, that was to be expected,"

[/color] he continued, taking a step towards Snowbird. She screamed at her limbs to move, but they remained locked, refusing to respond to any of her commands. He was now so close that she could feel his warm breath against her cheek. It smelled almost like... mint. "I love you, Snowbird,"[/color] he murmured, his voice so caring and loving that it made her heart melt and her limbs go weak. He gently licked her across the ear.

Snowbird's eyes flew open, and she abruptly found herself alone inside MoorClan's nursery. Small beads of sweat dappled her cold pelt, and her limbs felt weak and ached horrible. She groaned and steadily got to her paws before stretching each leg carefully by itself. Was I dreaming? She almost felt disappointed... something about the way that tom had treated her made her feel so special. It's just a dream. There's nothing to daydream about. She shrugged it away and swiftly groomed her Siamese pelt to perfection before exiting the nursery.

A cloud of fog so dense that she could barely see past her whiskers was settled over camp, showing Snowbird that it was still quite early in the morning. There was a sort of coolness in the air that wasn't too cold nor too comfortable either. She sneezed quietly, careful not to disturb her sleeping Clanmates, and proceeded towards the fresh-kill pile. As a permanent queen in an empty nursery, there was practically nothing for her to do these days except for the occasional walk in the forest with a friend. Every time she tried hunting, she ended up scaring away the prey, rather than catching it. Never before had she felt so completely useless, but it didn't bother her as much as she thought it should've. It was her choice to become a permanent queen, and if this was what her life was going to be like, so be it.

A familiar voice sounded nearby, and Snowbird's heart leaped when she realized it was her father's. Abruptly veering away from her path to the fresh-kill pile, she headed towards the voice and was surprised to find Shadowstar there as well. When was the last time I'd seen them together? Deciding that fact wasn't important, she padded closer to the two toms and purred brightly, "Good morning, Shadowstar, Goldenheart!"
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[` Jeopardy !]

S H A D O W S T A R

As the dense fog that had been out right before and after he approached out from his den started to die down, he could feel the left over residue clinging onto his fur.He shook his pelt, hoping to get water droplets to loose their grip on him. After a while though, he sighed, shook his head, and have up. Fine little rascals. I'll let you win this time. I'm just glad that I have a short pelt so that it doesn't bug me too much. Shaking his head, he started to look around the camp and watched through the less dense fog as the forms of felines started to emerge from their dens and wander throughout the camp, getting ready for the day's duties and chores. Life lived in the sunlight. Life died in the moonlight. That was a constant thought in his head, and it never changed. And it never left the back of his mind for too long. Especially not when a familiar scent and the voice that cause hard shivers to crawl slowly down in his spine, sounded in his ears.

"Shadowstar, how ya been?" At first, Shadowstar didn't look towards his father. This was the tom that had made him into what he was, whether his father wanted him this way or not and knowing Goldenheart - he didn't. The father and son never got along well, especially after the death of Shadowstar's mother...well, at least that's what he thought. Shadowstar saw their relationship more of a fragile thing on the border between respect because of where Shadowstar stood today and disappointment...though, the Siamese male knew his father wasn't aware of the fact - like the rest of the Clan - about his lie of sharing tongues with StarClan to get his name and lives. Taking a deep breath, the male turned his blue gaze to the older Siamese tom and smiled, "I've been fine, Goldenheart, thanks. How...about yourself?"

All he could think about as he gazed over the elder, was the fights he had with Shadowstar's mother about how to raise him and his sister. He remembered the days he felt choked by words being stuffed down his throat about how great StarClan was. Flash back after flash back crowded his mind until another voice entered his head and started to help his mind calm down, bringing back happier memories. "Good morning, Shadowstar, Goldenheart!" His gaze turned away from his father - thankfully - to rest upon his dear sister. He smiled warmly at the queen and nodded, thankful that she was here. Things were never easy with his father, but Snowbird always made them better. She made everything easier. "Good morning to you too, Snowbird." If it wasn't for her, he doubted he would be standing here as leader of MoorClan at all.

N O T E S:
Puppet: Shadowstar, Leader of MoorClan
Puppeteer: Jeopardy
Muse: Could be better.
To: Goldenheart (Cookies), Snowbird (Vi)

[Cookie -n- Cream]

GOLDENHEART

Goldenheart wasn't disappointed when the soothing voice of his daughter crept up the side of the two toms. He would have liked to seen how far he could get into civil conversation with the leader before having to run for her as a security blanket, though. It was an instant source of mediation, fortunately. He knew his son was tired of all the StarClan talks being rammed down his throat, and he knew that his son had to be accepting of it- being leader and all. Still, he wanted to continue to ground the idea into his children's heads. They were fully grown, but they were still his kits.

He gave a warm smile, blowing his thoughts about StarClan to the wind. Today, he was going to do his best not to mention the great clan in the sky. He was going to try and be less obnoxious about it. Goldenheart knew he was growing older and that the relationship between he and the last surviving members of blood-kin he had were not exactly as warming as other's in camp. He did not greet his children with licks on the cheek or forehead; he did not flick them with his tail playfully. Admittedly, he never really would have taken part in this tom-foolery anyway. Still, Goldenheart panged to at least share the same love and respect other families had for one another.

…what was he thinking! It wasn't like he was dying.

He snorted at his foolishly sentimental thoughts and cleared his head with a firm shake. "Ah, yes it is quite a good morning! StarClan has provided us such a great day to wake to." Well… he'd tried not to mention StarClan. Truthfully, he couldn't help it. He'd enveloped himself so far into the belief that everything was controlled by StarClan that every other phrase he spoke was somehow related to them. He hadn't even noticed. "I'm happy to see that you two are up and seem… undisturbed?" he wondered out loud. His gaze slipped over to his daughter and he gave a warm smile. The way she seemed was peaceful just as usual. Actually, it wasn't Snowbird he was concerned about at all. He was hoping she'd know something about her brother. In all honestly, Shadowstar seemed a little on edge. It was, probably, just the awkward conversation between estranged son and father, still, he wanted to know.

[[ vi . ]]

☁ ^☁ _☁    Snowbird
x x x

The fact that her whole family was with her at this very moment made her heart flutter; well, everyone that was alive, anyway. She thought of her and Shadowstar's deceased mother, and her heart immediately sank, but she didn't let it remain their long. She'd decided long ago that she was over her death and moving on with her life. It was these sudden bursts of memories that were what made that so much harder than it should've been, but life was almost normal for her now. The she-cat snapped back to reality, and suddenly became aware of the condensing mist clinging to her pelt. She gently shook her soft pelt dry, making sure not to splatter any droplets on her brother and father. Now that the fog had mostly cleared, she could clearly see the figures of the two toms beside her. Her brother had always been handsome, his eyes a dazzling shade of blue. Her father, wrinkled with age, had a sort of wise, powerful air to him. They're so alike, yet so different, she suddenly realized, much to her own surprise.

The way Shadowstar and Goldenheart had greeted her made her feel both welcome and uneasy. Her family always seemed to appreciate her so much, as if her mere presence was enough to calm them down. She was glad that she could do this for them, but almost wished it wasn't like this, that they could just be a regular family where every member was equally loved and honest with each other. Her eyes glanced at Shadowstar for a fraction of a heartbeat at the mention of StarClan. Never in her life had she murmured anything that had to do with her beloved brother's deep, dark secret - not even with their own father. Yet she couldn't help but wonder if there was any way for him to believe and have faith, that StarClan wasn't as evil and terrifying as he took them to be; not that she didn't respect his current beliefs or decisions.

"Indeed,"

[/color][/font][/size] she meowed coolly, a small, warm smile springing up on her face. There was something about their conversation that was troubling her, though. We're being way to formal for a casual family talk. She suppressed her sigh, thanking StarClan that at least Shadowstar and Goldenheart seemed to be in a good mood this morning. I hope it remains this way, too. "Anyway, what are you doing up so early, Father? Barely any of the warriors themselves have woken yet. You should take this part of your life to relax and enjoy yourself."[/color][/font][/size] She wanted to talk to Shadowstar as well, but she already knew the reason why he was up so early like this every day. She didn't dare even thinking about it, or anything that had to do with his secret in general, when they were around others, especially her father; she feared that if she did, she would accidentally slip up, and suddenly the whole Clan would know about it. Luckily, that had never happened to her before.
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[` Jeopardy !]

S H A D O W S T A R

"Ah, yes it is quite a good morning! StarClan has provided us such a great day to wake to." The words caused the muscles along his body to rigid up, to tense, until he forced himself to loosen everything up. To breathe deeply and calm himself. He expected nothing other than his father to bring their ancestors into any conversation they had. The male had been thinking his whole life that StarClan was the ultimate force, the only ones that can choose what to do with the cats that ran in the world below their paws. His eyes scanned over his father, but forced a smile to plaster across his face. A fake smile for a father he hardly saw as a father at times. It was a smile though that he faked so often that to anyone that looked in his direction, it would seem like a true blue, genuine smile. His father was how he was, he believed in what he did, and Shadowstar just happened not to think that way. He may not agree with a single thing that slipped past the elder's mouth at times, but he had to act like he did. No matter how much it killed him to do. No, not killed...no matter how much it made him quake inwardly in fear of what could happen.

The male noticed a pair of eyes looking his way, and he tuned his head slightly to see the gleaming orbs to be his sister's, which he hadn't doubted would have appeared after the mention of the Clan in the sky. The Clan that saw everything. The Clan that knew everything, past and future. Present. He shook his head as the thoughts started to crawl their way in and forced them out, forced them to die off. In response to the silent question he could see through her gaze, he merely nodded an gave her a real smile, one that echoed through his eyes...before it disappeared as he looked back to their father. He sometimes wondered what his father would say if he knew the truth. Shadowstar often imaged opening up, spilling everything to the tom who had caused much of it in his mind - and the tom who could well have prevented him from turning out like this. However, the leader didn't so much as blame his father for all of this as he blamed StarClan. StarClan was the one that killed his mother. They were the ones to do everything, to cause cats like his mother - sweet, caring, and loving - to die before their time when real murders with no sense of right and wrong lived. At any moment, anyone could die. And it would be their fault.

Shadowstar thought about the last words that the leader before him had spoken for only his ears, the words that made him realized this might all be the best of the Clan, the only real way that MoorClan could ever rise above the other Clans and be something greater. Something bigger than even StarClan itself. Not believing - not trusting, meant no restrictions besides his own moral beliefs. Morals, not governed by cats that died in their own way. "I'm happy to see that you two are up and seem… undisturbed?" The words snapped him out of the train of thought and he concentrated back on the "family" meeting that was placed out in front of him. Disturbed was a relative term, Shadowstar couldn't help noticing, when it slipped out of his father's mouth. He merely nodded and mewed, "With the way things are heading these days, there isn't much chance for anyone to really feel...disturbed about anything, is there?" It wasn't long after the words left his mouth, that he heard his sister speak and he smiled, looking back to Goldenheart. Glad that the spotlight seemed to be on the elder more than him now.

N O T E S:
Puppet: Shadowstar, Leader of MoorClan
Puppeteer: Jeopardy
Muse: Pretty decent. Sorry the reply is a bit late. x]
To: Goldenheart (Cookies), Snowbird (Vi)

[Cookie -n- Cream]

GOLDENHEART

Goldenheart knew enough to laugh off some things, and to pry with others. He was an elder who had known enough to supply any creature with bountiful wisdom. Surely enough, Goldenheart didn't use all of the wisdom granted to him, but when he needed to, he had a library of experience to rest upon. He smiled lightly when the two glanced at each other. He did his best to keep his thoughts on the light hearted side of things. The generation that stood in front of him had taken the reigns; they were in charge and he had to respect that he was just a fading creature in the distance.

'there isn't much chance for anyone to really feel...disturbed about anything, is there?

That's what he was wondering. "I dunno, is there?" he asked, giving the leader a stare that was clearly meant for a purpose. It was one of those old-age stares. All knowing, almost omnipresent and furtive, he gazed at his son. He had realized once long ago that all it took was a firm stare to get a fountain of words. Let on that you know something and, even if you don't know, the truth will come out.

However, he let up and smiled lightly once more. Today was not a day to reprimand his son. He wasn't going to tell the boy that he knew. He knew the secret. In fact, he was quite aware of the deep dark secret his son kept from him. The secret was that he did not worship StarClan as much as Goldenheart himself did. Of course he knew his son loved StarClan but not enough. One day, Goldenheart was sure, he'd convince his son to love StarClan just as much.

Snowbird began talking and he felt the skin under his fur grow hot. "Uh-um-I-uh-buh-I was… I was up early?" He blinked… hard. He had been asked to stay in camp because of his recent… forgetfulness. Oftentimes, he'd wander out and become lost or sit down in the middle of a clearing feeling useless. He sighed to himself, hanging his head low and staring up at Snowbird with his light green eyes. "I was hunting," he admitted, not being able to lie to her. "But I forgot where I buried my prey." The clan needed all the prey it could get. It was leaf-bare and everyone was stocking up. He figured it'd be helpful if he brought a few mice back, but in reality he was doing more harm than good. He was killing prey and burying it. No one else could find it and prey went to waste. He felt horrible about it. He noticed that he was wearing a hold in the soft earth below his front paws with all of the kneading he was doing.

[[ vi . ]]

☁ ^☁ _☁    Snowbird
x x x

Snowbird noticed the way Goldenheart seemed to stare at Shadowstar as he replied to the leader's previous statement. She felt her limbs tense and her blood run cold - could he know? No, it was impossible. Yet the she-cat couldn't help but shiver at the thought that their StarClan-obsessed father could ever even imagine something like what Shadowstar was going through. And if he did know, why hadn't he done anything about it yet? Surely a tom like him would be outraged? She forced herself not to spare even half of a glance towards her brother at Goldenheart's slight gesture this time, and kept her gaze fixed on the withered elder.

It took quite a lot of effort for Snowbird to contain her giggles at Goldenheart's stammering. Anybody could easily tell he was lying and that she had nailed him, yet she couldn't help but feel guilty as he sighed in defeat and muttered the truth, his head bowed. This time, though, she let a light chuckle finally escape her lips. "No need to feel so ashamed, father,"

[/color][/font][/size] she purred comfortingly, nudging his ear gently with her small pink nose. She was grateful he hadn't lied, but she couldn't help but wonder what could've happened to him out there. Goldenheart was suffering with severe memory loss at his elderly age; so much that Snowbird felt as if she had to watch him every heartbeat of the day. "But next time, if you really have to get out of camp, you have to tell me or Shadowstar about it, okay? That way we'll know where you are. Or one of us could even go with you."[/color][/font][/size]

The mention of fresh-kill abruptly made Snowbird's stomach growl. She suddenly realized she hadn't ate yet, her morning trip to the fresh-kill pile interrupted when she'd spotted her brother and father conversing nearby. This could be a good chance to grab a quick bite AND get out of camp! "Why don't we help you look for it, then?"[/color][/font][/size] she offered, her brilliant gray eyes literally sparkling. "We can't let good prey go to waste, anyway. Right, Shadowstar?"[/color][/font][/size] She stared at her brother with her brow raised, praying to StarClan he would agree with her. Her paws itched to finally be able to do something good for the Clan, and her limbs went weak with adrenaline at the thought of running free through the forest. She couldn't recall the last time she'd been able to do that without worry or frustration.
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